The Inner Edit: A Letter Forward

Dear May 2nd, 2029 version of me,

You’re 50 now. It is the precipice of another conventional time decade. You are now about to turn 51, only months away. Stop for a moment and look what you did with your 40s. In May of 2019, you had only recently stepped into corporate life. You learned how to write a corporate email, you learned how to act in an office, you learned how to text a guy you like, and the painful eww gross moments of how not to. Your kids were 9, 11, 13 and 14. Emma was just about to graduate the 8th grade and make her way to high school. You worked as a corporate travel sales rep and were on your way!  Your new adventure with happy hours in La Jolla, conferences in Chicago, along with a million drop-offs and pickups and laundry and lunches. 

Over those 10 years, you pivoted. You remained curious in some of your most excruciating moments. First, you utilized the pandemic and consequential layoff - as your moment. Your invitation to build the thing that had been in the fabric of your imagination and being for the previous over-10 years. And Flourish came to fruition. You made a HUGE calculated risk and sold your condo, moved to your dream location changed the trajectory of your children’s childhood… and it fucking worked. Not without a little pain and suffering, for sure, but you did it. I’m so proud of and truly impressed by you. 

You endured COUNTLESS hours of legal strife. Tens of thousands of dollars and hours getting your kids safe and freeing yourself.  On top of carrying the parental and financial load of four children, on top of building two businesses, on top of running a home and friendships and dating and taking care of your body. 

Then, when you were against the cliff again, you committed to curiosity and Esoterra was born. And OH MY GOD, can you imagine if I had not gotten back into travel? If this opportunity to partner with my mother was never realized? It was sitting here the whole time… the whole time. 

So then, another shift occurred in the fall of 2025, another incredible blossoming, efflorescence, expansion and opening to the greater world, when your kids were old enough for you to really travel. And bam, the world opened up even bigger. A blooming of your exposure to art and architecture and gastronomy and history through touching the centuries-old Spanish medieval fortresses, Buddhist temples, cliffside villages, Italian lakes and Parisian architectural marvels. You experienced what it felt like to live as a French/Spanish/Swiss/Costa Rican/Italian/Bhutanese woman. 

In your 40s, you raised children, you launched them into college, built two businesses, you met and spent time with a myriad of men from all over the world and lived the most elevated, exquisite, expansive experiences. 

Today, you can rest. You are safe. The tightness in your chest and clenching of your shoulders has given way to the gentle and enjoyable rhythms that give you consistency, excitement, and offer you expansion. They built the container for your ability to work towards your dreams every day. You feel comfortable in your body, you’ve gained the hard explored and earned ability to return to your sweet spot at any moment. You live the rhythm of it. Your finances are strong. You are no longer in court. You’ve placed guard rails up to protect your Kingdom, treasury, and inhabitants.

I don’t know if you’ve found partnership love, but as you were in your 40s, either way, you are fine. You are so surrounded by love in all the other forms it truly does not matter. As you were in your 40s, you’ve given YOURSELF truly all the money, experiences, structure of the life you desire, it never mattered. If you have found that partner- he must be truly extraordinary. 

I’m so curious how the rest of 2026 went. What unfolded?. How you showed up for it? If I know you, you were shrewd and steady and fought well. Did 2027 feel like you had been working underwater for 10 years, pushing against that resistance and now you’re operating above the surface? Do those strong muscles you built through pushing against all that resistance now carry you further and faster?  Did you write the book? Did you name it what you think you're gonna name it? Has Emma launched solidly into her career in travel, supporting and helping to expand Esoterra? Is Luke working for Driscolls? Did Jude just have the best time at Chico these last 3 years and… is Scar in Korea???!!!  I’m crying. 

Do you have a savings and are all the kids' school loans paid off? Did the Flourish digital modules sell? Did you remake them? I’m so curious about all this. Did you keep up with blogging both on Flourish and Esoterra? Did they make impact? Did you fully allow yourself to step into the role of a shrewd and excellent business woman and leader? 

How’s Jenn? Did she continue to travel and expand and have fun? I’m crying again. Haha.

I’m just so proud of you. You are truly extraordinary. I see alllll the moments. The moments you were by yourself and carried the true weight of the world around you. The moments you were freaking terrified and did it anyway. The moments you did NOT understand the language in the room or the text that was being sent, or how you’d feed your children or get them to college. I see the alllll the moments you sat by yourself at the games or went to back-to-school night alone, half in the world of the other parents, and half very not. I see the moment you went to the fancy event then drove away in a car that desperately needed new brakes. I see the moments you fought for and protected your children. And I see all the mornings, you brewed the coffee and wrote the words. Your daily practice to yourself, learning how to self-regulate, find your inner knowing and ultimately build a big and beautiful life.